Saying “No” to someone can oftentimes be a very difficult thing. As humans we naturally don’t want to let people down, especially when it’s people we care about. Learning how to say no is something that I struggled with for awhile. Too often I’d find myself committing to multiple plans or events that I truly did not want to be at. Learning how to say no has allowed me to focus on things that matter to me and has allowed me to grow immensely. If you’re struggling with the subtle art of saying no then keep reading. I promise you won’t be disappointed:)
Why You Should Say “NO”
Understanding why you should stop saying yes will help you learn how to say no. For me this was quite simple. The “To -Do” list that I had created seemed to never stop growing. Things that I actually needed to get done kept getting pushed off and the list continued to grow. Sure I’d love to go to little Sally’s 1 year birthday party, but let’s be honest the weekend is short and everyone has things to do.
When you say yes to every event or opportunity that is offered, you begin to overload yourself and lose focus on what’s important to you. Your time becomes someone else’s and you can never get time back. Saying “No” will allow you to focus on the things that matter to you. It will allow you to focus on yourself and grow as and individual. When you decide to say “yes” you’ll realize that you are actually enjoying the things you are doing. The tough part here is learning how to say “No”.
How to Say “NO”
For one reason or another saying no to people we care about is very difficult. Don’t freak out though, it’s not impossible and I’m going to present three steps that are sure to help you.
#1. What Is Important To You
Simply put, what are your values? Is family really important? Your friendships? Your work or business?
Having an understanding of your values will help you prioritize the things you say yes to and the things you say no to. For example family and friends are both extremely important to me, however growing my business effectively is also very important to me.
When I get invited to a family cookout that’s on a saturday I may say no because 1) there will be more cookouts to come and 2) I need to work on my business over the weekend. Events that are not one time things are often the easiest to say no to.
Take some time to reflect on yourself and figure out what matters most to you at this moment. It’s important to remember that your values may change over time and that is okay. If your career is currently your number one focus then put that first and say no to things that get in the way. If your number one focus is your personal finance then start saying no to the weekend bar trips.
#2. It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say IT
I can literally hear my mother to this day saying these wise words to me. As a kid I always seemed to shrug it off, but as I reflect on it I realize how true these words are… especially when saying no.
One reason people are typically scared of saying no to someone is the fear of their reaction. It’s completely okay to fear this and there is a way to avoid a negative reaction. The person you are saying “no” to may be disappointed, but they will be understanding.
When you are going to say no to someone it’s important to be completely honest. Don’t be that guy or girl that doesn’t answer a text, or tells someone they are going to make it then doesn’t show up. Acts like these can really sour relationships.
Instead, when saying no to someone go back to your values and incorporate that with your response. For example, if my friend Bob invites me out to get drinks this weekend I may respond with something such as, “Hey Bob I’m sorry I’m not going to be able to make it. I’m really behind on work and am trying to get my business off the ground”. Since Bob is my friend he’ll be disappointed that I won’t be there but will understand because he knows my business is important to me.
#3. Practice
As with any great skill practice makes perfect. Start off by saying no to things that don’t seem like such a big deal, such as saying no to drinks with Bob on the weekend. After a little practice you’ll soon realize that saying no is way easier than you thought.
Closing Thoughts
It’s okay to say “no” sometimes. You don’t have to be at every single family event and you don’t need to be doing things with your friends all the time.
Understand what is important to you and allow yourself to grow effectively. What you do with your personal time is solely up to you so make sure your not wasting it. Saying no is definitely an art that takes practice, but will only benefit you.
As always I hope you enjoyed this article, if you have any questions be sure to hit us up in the comment section đŸ™‚
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